You know that saying, “I’ll die of a broken heart” and you cry and cry for hours. And then you wake up the next day and essentially wish you were dead from all the pain and crying? Ya, that’s what I thought would happen after many men. (I was going to type each name & just got depressed doing so, erased and remembered this blog post wasn’t about them. Ha!).
Anyhow, the real point is – you won’t die of crying when you jump hard. And fast. And into the unknown. Believe me.
So, we opened Just BE Kitchen. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t always joyful. It wasn’t always hard either. I went into a pure survival mode. I was not necessarily conscious of that being the “state” I was in but the reality is that I was. You’re pushing. Searching. Asking. Finding the depths inside of you, you didn’t know you had to get through things that you had no idea would be hard or even be obstacles that you encountered.
You realize, when you’re sobbing on your floor with the dogs licking your face & wondering why the hell have you done something so dumb as opening your own business…that crying is ok – because there’s just nothing else to do. Turning back is simply NOT an option. You’ve invested money. Time. Resources. You’ve signed a lease and hired staff. You’ve made promises to vendors. And you actually like all of these people involved & want to honor them. And you care about them. So turning back is not an option.
So you cry. And you cuddle the dogs and wake up the next day and it’s a new day.
You see windows close. But you see BIG doors open. You say the F word a LOT. And that word isn’t “fudge” just for clarity. Nor is it “food.” Ha.
You spend time training team members, only to have them leave after a week or do a no show and your heart feels like you’re the most worthless human being alive because you’re just not used to “no shows” in your former life.
I spent months working on a bank loan. One bank man told me he turned down Snooze and regretted it but was turning down me too. Another told me as a single woman I would be approved if I had a spouse sponsor me. (A great reminder of singlehood).
Another had me spend months applying, only to be told that with the new merger happening at the bank, the terms of the deal had dramatically changed. I was then seduced into another loan where “it would happen fast and easy.” NOTE: It wasn’t fast. Or easy. And then you finally find a great partner that supports you through it all and finances you.
Then all the plaster falls off a wall behind the barista station. Then your contractor & you don’t see eye to eye so you have to cease the relationship and you have no idea how it will get finished.
And your family – the people that are meant to be super excited for your dreams coming true…never say congrats, comment on any social media threads, pick up the phone with excitement, recognize what you’ve done or come to the restaurant when it opens.
And the list goes on. And on. And, one day I will share a big whammy that hit too just before opening and continued till recently, but that’s a blog post all in itself at some point.
So, the point is: IF you jump, you will cry. It’s ok. DON’T GIVE UP. Crying helped me weather the storm. And people around me helped me realize this is just part of the process. Jump. Cry. Joy. Repeat.
It releases all those unworthy feelings. It reminds you that you’re only human. It allows you to have compassion when you see someone else suffering. And if you really listen during the calm after the storm…you’ll be surprised at what you did.
I mean – I don’t know how we opened the restaurant given all the problems beforehand. I don’t know how we opened without the bank loan closing. We only got equipment hooked up/ready less than a week before opening. I don’t know how I got through issues with people, unfinished interior and a zillion other things that I genuinely can’t even remember now. Because now there’s a rainbow after all the tears…and, it’s a different season.
So, crying doesn’t kill you. In fact…it does the opposite. It shortens the suffering time. You cry. You release. You tell the negative talk “thank you for visiting but I don’t have a place for you today. You took me yesterday but today is mine.”
So, in essence, what makes you cry, wakes you up. It makes you see all the glorious parts. Like team members doing great things. Like customers smiling. Like thank you letters in the mail. Crying…makes you LIVE.
BE Well xxx